This
merriment of parsons is mighty offensive. Samuel Johnson
Ed.
Note: (Our yuletide gift, to the tune of “Shall We Dance.” Click here for the original, and then sing and dance along! Be sure to skip the ad!)
It’s
almost Christmas Eve;
You know
they want your bucks.
They’ll
soon be asking you for
Giant sums
of cold, hard cash.
So many
Traddie sheep
Are
fearful of their shears:
It made us
think we might
write
Songs to
help them to bleat, "No!"
Keep ’em poor!
To a chic, de luxe spa
they shall not hop!
Keep ’em poor!
We shall now put their
spending to a stop!
Or what’s more,
When a wastrel wants to
make a border run,
We shall tell him, “Hold
your horses,
You’ll not waste our dear resources,
So stay put where you are, Señor.”
With the knowledge now
assured
That our savings won’t
be squandered:
Keep ’em poor!
Keep ’em poor!
Keep ’em poor!
[♬♩♫♪orchestra ♪♫♩♬]
Keep ’em poor!
Frequent tours through all
Gaul must surely end!
Keep ’em poor!
We shall cure their hot
itch to spend and spend!
So, therefore,
When they get those
old urges to construct,
We shall dial up
code enforcement
(When we’ve published
our divorcement),
So they’ll cease
building evermore!
With the knowledge now
assured
That our savings won’t
be squandered:
Keep ’em poor!
Keep ’em poor!
Keep ’em poor!
[♬♩♫♪orchestra ♪♫♩♬]
[♬♩♫♪orchestra ♪♫♩♬]
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