By golly, Li'l Dan's a sneaky one, isn't he?
Without so much as a peep or a burp, a couple of weeks ago Dannie took off to Albuquerque, New Mexico, "for Confirmations and a pastoral visit to St. Gertrude the Less, and hoping for a bit of warmth as well." No one -- not even the Reader -- was the wiser until "One Hand" published his "Bishop's (?) Corner," although Pistrina had correctly predicted earlier this year a winter side trip to fashionable Santa Fe.
Time was when Wee Dan would've announced his vacation with great fanfare well before he made his getaway: he'd've wanted the Gerties to know the wide extent of his "apostolate." But now, after so much public scrutiny into his dollar-wasting, rambling ways, he's been reduced to creeping out of town without so much as a 'bye-'bye, you suckers.
With Dannie's poor-mouth complaining about this "season of high heating bills" and "the imperious Duke" (the local energy company), we triple-dog-dare the half-frozen, flat-broke Gerties to confront their footloose, wandering "bishop" with a couple of burning questions, now that he's returned from toasting himself in the chic Southwestern sun.
The first sizzling question is: Who paid for the round-trip airfare, local transfer, food/lodging, and the excursion to swanky Santa Fe? (Was there also a quickie sojourn at the ritzy Bishop's Lodge featuring the SháNah Spa and Wellness Center, with its massage-and-meditation teepee?) Did the money come from the pitifully few members of "St. Gertrude the Less" (what a ridiculous name!) or from SGG's coffers? If SGG paid all or some of the freight, then ask if he plans to reimburse the chapel from his Albuquerque stipend and his own Christmas money. Let him know in no uncertain terms that you hard-scrabble Gerties aren't operating a missions society. (And, BTW, demand to see receipts.)
The second red-hot question is: If Travelin' Dan's planning to trot off to Mexicali, Mexico, this winter, who's paying for that? The Mexicali chapel, SGG, or (Absit!) Deacon Dan on his lonesome? Be sure to remind him you were disgusted by last year's Lenten meat-eating bacchanal. Inform him that you don't intend to underwrite such offensive clerical behavior this coming Lent, especially in light of all the recent expenses, like two replacement vehicles, the exterminator, and high heating bills.But let's be open and honest: the West-Chester wild rover's not going to answer these questions. (The sternly ignorant Checkmeister won't allow it.) Therefore, since you're bound to be kicked out for asking them, you might as well just
LEAVE THE CULT TODAY AND SPEND THE MONEY YOU SAVE ON YOUR FAMILY.
MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE A VACATION IN 2015, IF YOU GET OUT NOW!
MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE A VACATION IN 2015, IF YOU GET OUT NOW!
Just read the 'Bishop's Corner' after reading about Dan's trip to NM & possible trip to Mexico here on Pistrina. In the 'Bishop's Corner' Dan writes about having a very small funeral for a long-suffering parishioner who died after years in a nursing home. What was missing was who, if anyone, gave that good man Last Rites. Dan talked of about the wildlife in the church, yet strangely never mentioned about going to see Kim LeBlanc &/or giving him Last Rites. I know it's a topsy-turvy world there, but really! The man can traipse to foreign countries & NM but did he ever go to visit Kim LeBlanc right in his own town? Did Mr. LeBlanc receive Extreme Unction? Some things are conspicuous by their absence, and going on about the animals & not saying more about a parishioner who recently died just seems so odd & out of place.
ReplyDeleteHow right you are! Tradistan is another world unto itself.
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