Saturday, November 26, 2016


A mirror eats donkeys and spits out fools. German Proverb

In his October pesthouse newsletter, Tradzilla pontificated:
The Protestant churches are organized from below, that is, protestants of like mind come together and form a community or “church” where they worship in common. This “church,” however, is the product of human beings, and not of God. It has no authority to teach, rule, or sanctify the faithful. 
Big Don's lack of self-recognition is astonishing: He's describing the image of his cult glaring back from the mirror before which he brays.

If you substitute traddie(s) for Protestant/protestants, the rector's words eerily characterize independent traditional "Catholic" Mass centers inside and outside Tradistan U.S.A. Following the model of Nonconformist conventicles, these chapels were not erected by the Church but by rebel adventurers operating without her warrant as they organized their revolutionary cells "from below."

Behind a scrim of menacingly re-imagined Catholicism, stinking of brimstone and malediction, each TradWorld enclave peevishly clings to its own brand of earthly "identity politics": una-cum, non-una-cum, recognize-and-resist, materialiter sedevanctism, absolute sedevacantism, conclavism, Feeneyism, and so on. Their uncommissioned, scapegrace "clergy" have no authority or jurisdiction, and those among them who might happen to possess the power to sanctify may only exercise their orders upon demand of the laity.

Like their hot-gospeler fellow-travelers in non-Catholic America, these fragmented, rootless trad sects boast wantonly eccentric liturgical practices. One faction espouses the Pius XII rite, another the so-called Pius X, and yet another the '62 iteration. One troupe of dissenters abolished the Leonine Prayers, replacing them with sundry theater pieces recited by a hammy "pastor." Another outlandish coterie embraces the reformed Holy Week liturgy of the mid-'50s yet can't manage to get through Palm Sunday Mass in accordance with its rubrics.

Several vie with each other in publishing different calendars, some with partial abstinence on the Vigil of All Saints, others with full abstinence, and one with "optional [!] feasts" throughout the year. On occasion, there are horrors like "votive Vespers." Infamously, the sleaziest gang produced an ordo filled with Latin errors and at odds with pre-conciliar praxis. In many of these rings, malformed "priests" from unapproved "clerical" certificate mills either race or stumble through Low Masses riddled with sinful defects.

These wildcat, human enterprises purporting to be "Catholic" are no better than the mainline Protestant or the offbeat non-denominational "churches" the Donster condemns as not of divine origin. If he were really the head of the "A-Team," he would've kept his pie-hole shut lest his own jabbing, accusatory finger point back to him. But he's not. Don's but a noisy marketeer for an all-too-human civil corporation. And in order to keep the dying business out of threatening bankruptcy, folks have to be tricked into thinking the SW Ohio-Swampland Cult Cabal is the same as the Roman Catholic Church.

The blasphemous marketing strategy has its pay-off.  Once foolish culties buy into the fiction, manipulative cult masters can pass off as genuine Church teaching any fabrication they please. Hence the lurid, lunatic, on-the-fly prohibitions regarding women's footwear and clothing, popular music, or the kind of people with whom you may associate (unless, that is, you belong to the untouchable élite).  If you do believe the "clergy's" tall tales, then you'll surely agree you're bound under pain of sin to contribute generously to the support of bone-lazy, renegade "clergy," won't you?

No one, not even a congenitally "slow" cultie child, should be taken in by Sinburn's frequent riffs on the superiority of the Catholic Church. Their purpose is to make you (incorrectly) infer that she is to be found whole in Donnie's man-centered enterprise. The reality is, however, that the family-owned sect he runs for now is a splintered, hideously distorted reflection of Christ's immaculate Bride.

But those of you who grasp the difference between Catholic and "Catholicoid" won't fall for deceptive, image-twisting language games.  Hee and haw and kick as Big Don might, graced Catholic faithful can't mistake the worldly traits of divisiveness, greed, self-interest, and materialism for the divine marks of the Holy Roman Catholic Church.


Saturday, November 19, 2016


Till the walls shall crumble in ruin,/And moulder in dust away. Longfellow

Last week, in his squalid "Corner," Dirtbag Dan let slip his deepest fears when he reported on this year's All Saints' Day Kiddie Kostoom Kringe-a-thon:
I always fear anymore that the children’s participation in this day is dying out, for once we had great numbers. But the count of the children is just right each year for their little presentations before I go off for the 11:30, and the party begins. I do feel bad for the children who miss out, because they are missing out.
Wee Dan is right to be worried.

If you didn't painstakingly deconstruct his message, you might've concluded His Uneasiness was anxiously fretting over a demographic trend common to many Tradistani cult chapels. The once victimized kids have grown up and moved away in bitter resentment, leaving mostly aging empty nesters behind to fund a clerical over-the-top lifestyle. Only a handful of lupine families whelping "young'uns" remains willing to sacrifice just enough crumb-crushers to make the cult center seem a child-friendly place.

That, however, would be a superficial,  fundamentally wrong explanation for the dwindling numbers of youthful participants. "One Hand's" cri de cœur in actuality is a therapeutic tool deployed to (temporarily) banish negative thoughts of SGG's imminent collapse. It's kind of like the "rubber band technique" psychologists teach their desperate clients to drive away incapacitating anxiety.
But the intervention is clearly not working, as evidenced by Distressed Dan's howling, circular idiocy, "I do feel bad for the children who miss out, because they are missing out [??]."

It's no secret there are loads of Gertie rug-rats whose parents don't want them to participate. Ma, Pa and the tykes may assist at Sunday Mass, but they scurry out like Raid®-sprayed cockroaches as soon as the big show's over. No sane parents, even backward ones, want their precious bairns involved in cultie-forming group exercises.

The painful memories of the SGG School Scandal (click here), which erupted in full force around this time seven years ago, are still achingly fresh. All that delirious, syrupy twaddle parents hear from the pulpit about the dear, sweet, little ones cannot erase the lingering mental images of innocence betrayed. Although, for some mysterious reason, these mothers and fathers won't kick SGG pseudo-clergy to the curb in return for undoubtedly valid sacraments at one of the area's many competing traditional chapels, at least they're making sure their offspring keep away from the crud balls who authored the 2009 calamity.

Pretending that everything is all right won't slow SGG's headlong rush to closure. As thick headed as he is, we'd say His Regretfulness is tortured by the unmistakable signs of ineluctable doom for his failed enterprise. A dearth of solutions compounds his fears. For example, he still doesn't dare get rid of "The Principal," who commands an outsized share of the cult's declining collections and remains the source of so much continuing discontent among Gertie stalwarts. Likewise, His Weariness cannot retire to the sunny, chic Southwest, for he hasn't a successor capable of sustaining the contributions he must have to live in leisured luxury. And he cannot rustle new sheep to replace the ones breaking out of the fold: there's too much out there about him now — and much more to come.

Th already-high psychic pressure will increase by many atmospheres when Tradzilla exits the Swampland family cult compound to rattle the beggar's cup for his promised new venture. Dannie will then be barred from access to needed but scarce financial resources as the Donster aggressively fundraises among the same tapped-out marks who feed the SW Ohio cult. Moreover, Big Don's noisy recruitment activities will further lower Li'l Daniel in the esteem of die-hard Gertie misfits. Without question, the vacuum created by Dannie's dramatic loss of standing will embolden many to attach themselves to another, less embattled cult kingpin.


Don't you agree it's poetic justice that kids are at the root of the weepy Wee One's current terrors?

In late 2009, he refused to remove the cause of children's misery, opting instead to purge SGG "School" of the few caring adults who were their champions. Now the children's diminishing presence at cult events torments him with foreboding. How fitting it is that the very young can serve as the harbinger of long-overdue justice. At last, their hour of retribution has struck.

Unable to see hanging before his eyes the rotten fruits of his 2009 inaction, "One Hand" will continue his therapeutic wishful thinking as the children and paying adults grow fewer. The delusion won't keep the howling, clawing wolf from the cult's shabby door. Dannie'll try to project confidence, with no relief forthcoming. There's no recovery for what ails him.

The truth is: the number of kiddies is "just right each year" simply because Dannie has lowered his expectations so as to avoid confronting SGG's certain demise. Never to be counted again are the "great numbers" of the past. Those glory days of limitless greenbacks ended seven years ago this month. Never to be duped again are Catholics who love their young.


Saturday, November 12, 2016


Hold the traditions which you have learned. 2 Thessalonians

Editor's Note: We didn't offer a DISORDERED ORDO in October owing to our participation in the Lay Governance Conference. November's condensed entry will take its place. We're posting the feature earlier in the month than usual because the SGG cult has already begun hawking its "All Saints Roman Catholic Calendar 2017 A.D. (sic! The A.D. era marker comes before the year!)"*: Catholics need a strong reminder to stay away from anything the cult produces related to the Church's liturgical year: chances are, it's far from traditional and likely to be marred with errors.

This installment's example of the cult masters' incompetence will not only demonstrate how far Dimwit Dannie's ORDO 2016 strays from traditional American liturgical practice but will prove beyond a doubt our long-maintained conclusion that SGG's "universal" ordo is not universal.

That fact in itself should discourage European, Australian and New Zealand, African, and Latin American buyers from wasting their money. The year is running out, and there's still the looming danger that "One-Hand Dan" and his Silly Sal may be shameless enough to offer for sale an ordo for 2017. So let's get right to the exposé without further introduction.

For Sunday, July 3 (p. 65), we find the following caption for the day (N.B. Blogger won't allow the ampersand sign, so we replaced it with the Latin word for "and"):
SOLEMNITAS SS PETRI ET PAULI APP ("The Solemnity of SS. Peter and Paul, Apostles")
As Matters Liturgical  (❡692, 1942 ed.) explains, in the United States, the June 29 Feast of SS. Peter and Paul "is not of precept." However, by indult its "External Solemnity is transferred to the Sunday following." (Note, BTW, that Dannie's caption fails to identify it as an external Solemnity — another gross lapse of liturgical accuracy.)

Therefore, once again we see SGG's ordo is meant for Americans, despite its website's advertisement of a "Universal Edition." More importantly, the announcement of the external solemnity in Dannie's highly eccentric ordo does not follow the best practice of traditional American pre-conciliar ordines. In the good ol' days, the well-formed compilers understood that this Mass for SS. Peter and Paul was a privileged Solemn Votive Mass, so the principal caption for the Sunday remained as the "xth day after Pentecost." Notice of the permitted external solemnity was accordingly made in the entry for the preceding day.

Here's what Deficient Dannie ought to have done, if he were liturgically savvy and faithful to American Catholic tradition:
At the end of the entry for Saturday, July 2, the Wee One should have printed — at the very minimum — something like Cras Solemnitas externa Ss Petri et Pauli App celebratur ("tomorrow the external Solemnity of Ss. Peter and Paul, Apostles, is celebrated"). Then for Sunday, July 3, the caption should have read only Dom[inica] VII post Pentecosten ("7th Sunday after Pentecost"). That's what competent American ordines used to do. (Check out, for instance, this sampling from past decades: 1927 St. Paul, MN; 1937 Columbus, OH; 1946 St. Paul, MN; 1954 Cincinnati, OH.)
But, as we all know, His Independency can't be bothered to follow tradition.*It's too confining for his free-wheeling, "do-what-I-want" ways. Plus, it may be that he probably never learned tradition in the first place.

What traditional Catholics must take away from "One Hand's" demonstrated ignorance of how things were really done in the pre-conciliar Church is this:

Cult teachings are arbitrary. You cannot rely on what the malformed cult masters tell you about the liturgy, about theology, or about faith and morals. Get out today!

* Last week we highlighted an error of English usage on Dannie's July 2017 calendar page. Today, we point out a more serious illustration of his contempt for tradition. On Sggresources,  "One Hand" offers a page from his calendar profiling St. John Fisher, where His Deficiency quotes the following verses from John 17: 3-5: 
Eternal life is this: to know You, the only true God, and Him whom You have sent, Jesus Christ. I have given you glory on earth by finishing the work You gave me to do. Do you now, Father, give me glory at your side. 
The problem here is that this is a hyper-modern translation. In fact, we found the exact translation, with only minor differences in capitalization, in Prayers and Devotions from Pope John Paul II (click here. ) If Dannie were so traditional, why, then, didn't he quote from the traditional Douay version revised by Challoner?
Now this is eternal life: That they may know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. I have glorified thee on earth; I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do. And now glorify thou me, O Father, with thyself. (TAN text)
And if SGG didn't own a copy of the Douay or wanted a slightly more up-to-date version, why didn't "One Hand" quote from the 1941 Confraternity version?
Now this is everlasting life, that they may know thee, the only true God, and him whom thou hast sent, Jesus Christ. I have glorified thee on earth; I have accomplished the work that thou hast given me to do. And now do thou, Father, glorify me with thyself. (St. Anthony Guild Press text)
But if Dirtbag Dannie thought the Confraternity language was still too "traditional" for his modern tastes, why didn't he at least quote from Mgr. Knox's 1945 translation?
Eternal life is knowing thee, who art the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. I have exalted thy glory on earth, by achieving the task which thou gavest me to do; now, Father, do thou exalt me at thy own side. (New Advent text)
For all his claims about the evils of the liturgical reform movement of the '50s, it's obvious that Dannie doesn't like tradition; in his heart, he seems to prefer novelty. BTW, there's also another blunder in English in the St. John Fisher profile. Dannie writes, "While imprisoned in the tower of London he was made a Cardinal..."(emphasis ours). Real traditional Catholics with an education know that the correct verb is "created."

Or is it possible that SGG "borrowed" much of their copy from another source? If you compare Dannie's text (click here and then click on the the image of St. John Fisher at the lower right ) to the the text found at Catholic Online/ (click here), you'll discover some startling textual similarities that surely cannot be the result of pure chance. (Hmmmmmm. We're thinking of a word, and it begins with p...)

**As an aside, we point out that Dannie doesn't follow American practice in listing the order of the Sunday Masses. For example, the 1954 Cincinnati ordo and many others list Mass 1 as that of the Sunday and Mass 2, as that of Peter and Paul. But not Mr. Make-it-Up-As-You-Go.  He reverses the order. 

Saturday, November 5, 2016


East or West, home is best. Bohn's Handbook of Proverbs

Well, folks, Pistina's staff is finally back from the 2016 Lay Governance Conference. It was a resounding success, although we were sickened when we heard all new reports of the cult-clergy's misbehavior, especially the instances of punishing the laity by withholding the sacraments.

While we were away, some of you asked for the audio of the keynote speaker's address. Unfortunately, the conference directorate nixed our request because Father, who lives in a diocesan home for retired priests, could be in jeopardy of losing benefits. He has no means of support other than his pension. The Novus Ordo is just as vicious as the cult masters when it comes to silencing criticism. Moreover, inasmuch as Father's address contained many anecdotes that would identify him, when we summarize his remarks in a future post, we'll have to edit them carefully so as not to put him at risk.

Likewise, in the Q-and-A session that followed, conference attendees identified themselves by name and city. Many of those individuals still have relatives in cult-copntrolled chapels, and they feared that publication of their attendance would subject family members to the "bishops'" vengeance. Just like many of you, these individuals despise Wee Dan, Tradzilla, the Pivmeister, and the Long-Island Jellyfish, but they want to leave the cult on their own terms and not be drummed out.  In the "bishop"-led cults, we hear the paranoia now stands at an all-time high, so no one is safe.

Seeing that it will take several days for the word to get around that we're back online, we'll hold off posting new material until next week. And in answer to three correspondents, yes, that post will be another installment of DISORDERED ORDO, which we forewent in October owing to our participation in the conference. Dirtbag Dan is already hawking his 2017 calendar with another error-encrusted ordo sure to follow. The post will provide a timely warning not to buy either.*
Before closing, however, we must note that when we returned, we found Dannie still making awful linguistic errors. In his October newsletter, he wrote:

September 24 is the feast of Our Lady of Ransom or of Mercy (“Merced” in Spanish)... 

Although in Spanish the feast is called Nuestra Señora de la Merced, the English word "mercy" comes from the (Old ) French merci, not from the Spanish (as "One Hand" seems to be suggesting). Both the French and the Spanish words are derived from the Latin merces, whence the Missal's title B. M. V de Mercede (which, BTW, is why we translate it as "ransom" and not "mercy").

He'd just rather make it all up as he goes along, wouldn't he? Don't believe a word Dannie writes, whether it's about etymology or theology.

** FYI, we noted a big boo-boo on the July 2017 sample page Dannie posted: for July 29, he prints "St Felix II, PM, Ss Simplicius and Companions, Mm" instead of "SFelix, P,  Simplicius and Companions, Mm." The commemoration in the Latin Missal includes Pope Felix with Simplicius, Faustinus, and Beatrice although the pontiff wasn't martyred with the others, so the "Mm" makes the M after P superfluous. By joining the named martyrs, Roman style only requires Ss, at the beginning. If Dannie had wanted to indicate that Simplicius etc. endured a separate martyrdom, then he should have written "St Simplicius and Companions," since in English the title "Saint" must precede a proper noun.